The Radical Act of Letting Things Hurt

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August 13, 2023

a project of ServiceSpace

True comfort in grief is in acknowledging the pain, not in trying to make it go away. Companionship, not correction, is the way forward

- Megan Devine -

The Radical Act of Letting Things Hurt

"When psychotherapist Megan Devine -- creator of the excellent resource Refuge in Grief and author of its portable counterpart, It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand (public library) -- watched her young, healthy partner drown, the sudden and senseless loss suspended her world. As it slowly regained the motive force of life, she set out to redirect her professional experience of studying emotional intelligence and resilience toward better understanding the confounding, all-consuming process of grief -- the process by which, as Abraham Lincoln wrote in his immensely insightful letter of consolation to a bereaved friend, the agony of loss is slowly transmuted into "a sad sweet feeling in your heart, of a purer and holier sort than you have known before"; a transmutation in which skillful loving support can make a world of difference -- support very different from what we instinctively imagine helps." More in this post from The Marginalian. { read more }